Questions about you:
- Feel afraid of your partner for much of the time?
- Often find that you try to avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
- Feel that you can’t do anything that will please or satisfy your partner?
- Believe that it is your fault that your partner treats you as he does, and that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- Feel that perhaps it is you who is wrong or crazy?
- Feel emotionally numb?
- Feel that your situation is hopeless and that you are unable to do anything about it?
- Believe that any insults directed at you are probably justified?
- Think that it must be a normal part of a relationship for one person to have all the power and to order the other around?
Questions about your partner:
Does your partner…
- Humiliate you in private or in public?
- Often shout at you?
- Issue orders to you rather than politely ask you to do things?
- Criticize everything you do?
- Put you down and belittle your career or achievements?
- Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
- Ignore your talents or successes?
- Blame you for their own abusive behavior telling you that it is you that makes them treat you this way?
- Look on you as their property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
- Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
- Hurt or threaten to hurt those that you love?
- Threaten to take your children away?
- Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
- Force you to have sex or to indulge in sexual practices that you are not comfortable with?
- Remove or destroy your belongings?
- Become excessively jealous and possessive?
- Control where you go or what you do?
- Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
- Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
- Constantly check up on you?
- Check your mobile phone for messages or read your private correspondence?
- Constantly and wrongly accuse you of having affairs or other similar behavior?
All of the above are danger signs that a relationship may be emotionally abusive. If you have answered affirmatively to the questions, even if not all of them apply to you, you need to seek help. You can do this by speaking to a family friend or family member that you trust, voicing your concerns to your partner if you feel able, or by speaking to your family doctor. You should also be able to obtain help from domestic violence websites and helplines who consider emotional abuse to be as dangerous and important as domestic violence.